I would like to welcome an old friend to the world of blogging and to the Brendoman.com family. Doug's blog is at darkriver.brendoman.com. He also has a site on uky.edu, where he is a graduate student. My favorite memory with Doug is sitting in line for tickets to Fellowship of the Ring in Kirksville. The first showing didn't even sell out, so there wasn't much use in waiting outside the theater all day, but it sure was fun. Be sure to check out his new blog and leave a comment.

Mike Ferguson (Danny's younger brother, home from college in Florida for a few weeks). I asked him to guest-blog because a. I'm exhausted and b.he's really funny. (As you read his post, remember we live in Adrian, MO population 1800 and a fun factor of 0.) Send me your top 5s and you may be next.

Top five things cool for high schoolers that I wouldn't be caught dead doing

5. Going to see a movie in Harrisonville-- Unless you're dropping by
Movie Gallery because you just got done eating at the Branding Iron,
you have no business doing anything movie-related in Harrisonville.
High-schoolers, you'll be shocked when you see your first movie
theater that has stadium style seating, digital sound, and less white
trash.

4. "Roadtrips"-- Notice the quotation marks. This refers to
roadtrips that entail driving around Bates County. College students
know that real road trips mean that you go somewhere, normally several
states away. Real roadtrips usually take more than 45 minutes and
don't take place on a single weeknight after eating dinner with your
family. And you will definitely learn that roadtripping to Merwin
and Amsterdam is a complete waste of time, gas, and brain cells.

3. Any Camp that Takes Place on a College Campus-- I remember the
days of going to different camps, music camps, basketball camps, etc,
where for a week we lived in college dormitories. It was so cool. We
had our own squeaky bed and tiny closet, and a sink, right there in
the freakin room! But after spending a few semesters in said dorm
rooms, they lose their luster. This is mostly caused by a thin layer
of FUNK growing on everything, including the 4 foot pile of laundry
that you aren't going to wash. And don't get me started on roomates.
In other words, enjoy your room at home while it lasts.

2. Driving around town-- I used to do this all of the time. It was
SUPER cool before I got my license, and moderately cool after. But
now just seems silly. Whether it was cruising the strip (what's the
strip) or flipping the U or going around the horseshoe or cruising
Sonic in Butler, it all was cool for a while, but lately just seems
retarted. The retartedness of this activity goes off the scales when
you are in a 4 x 4 and listening to loud rap music. Ok, it doesn't
matter what you're driving, it always makes you stupider.

1. Talking about How Ready You are to Leave-- It's the same song you
get from every high schooler. "I'm so sick of high school and I can't
wait to leave." Most of the time it's true, and college is a lot more
fun than high school. But talking about how miserable you are, though
at the time seems cool, is only cool to you and your buddies.
Remember, it was cool to me when I did it, but looking back I wish I
would have shut up.

Thank you, Mike, for being brave enough to share your high school exploits and the lameness therein. Prepare for the comments to flow!

Hello! I'm back from my first week at church camp. I had a good time, but I was starting to really miss my family. I wanted to post to let you know that the episode of the Screen Savers that I called in on will air tonight at 6:00 on G4TechTV. If you have cable, tune in. I'm on about 40 minutes into the show. If you don't have cable, but you do have broadband, check back here and I'll have the segment digitized and posted (though it may not be until after my second week of camp.) I finally got my free TSS t-shirt, too. Huzzah!

Update: Well, they're showing an old episode now, so I guess mine won't be on today. I might email them to see what's up and when it will be on. I just hope I haven't missed it.

As promised, here is a list of misheard lyrics. I tried to pick the most recent revelations because my mother has already pointed out some of my earlier transgressions. (See MeMe's comment)

1. Toad the Wet Sprocket    Walk on the Ocean
Real lyrics: "Walk on the ocean/Step on the stones/Flesh becomes water/Wood becomes bone"
What I thought: "Walk on the ocean/step on the shore/touch the ghost water/what becomes more?"
Revelation hit: Two weeks ago when Danny's brother sang the song at a concert.

2. Jimmy Buffet    Margaritaville
Real lyrics: "Wasting away again in Margaritaville/searching for my lost shaker of salt"
What I thought: "Wasting away again in Margaritaville/searching for my lost ticker and saw"
Revelation hit: In college, when my sorority had its annual "Margaritaville" dance and we all sang the song together. (Salt, salt…)

3. John Mellencamp   Authority Song
Real: "I fight authority, authority always wins"
What I thought: "I finally thought and thought I always will"
Revelation hit: While I was working with a Physical Plant painter and another student painter at Truman, I heard them sing the real lyrics and thought, "Wow, I'm so glad I wasn't singing aloud."

4. Smashing Pumpkins    Bullet With Butterfly Wings
Real: "Even though I know/I suppose I'll show/All my cool and cold-like old job"
What I thought: "Even though I know/I suppose I'm sure/I'm all cool and cold/Like a drug"
Revelation hit: Just now, when I was looking up the lyrics because I knew I never had them right.

5. Pearl Jam Yellow Ledbetter
Real: "I said, 'I don't know whether I'm the boxer or the bag'
What I thought: "I said, 'I don't know where there's a box -oh- in the back'
Revelation: Come on, like anyone knows the lyrics to this song. I love Pearl Jam, but Eddie mumbles a bit more than usual on this one.

As with the last self-deprecating post, the floor is open…Please don't let me down.

I have read this essay (written by e.e. cummings to introduce an exhibition of his paintings) several times in the past two days, and wanted to share. I'm not sure where I stand on his art vs. intellect debate, but I have enjoyed reading nonetheless.

Simple people, people who don't exist, prefer things which don't exist, simple things.

"Good" and "bad" are simple things. You bomb me= "bad." I bomb you= "good." Simple people(who, incidentally, run this socalled world) know this (they know everything) whereas complex people--people who feel something--are very, very ignorant and really don't know anything.

Nothing, for simple knowing people, is more dangerous than ignorance. Why?

Because to feel something is to be alive.

"War" and "peace" are not dangerous or alive: far from it. "Peace" is the inefficiency of science. "War" is the science of inefficiency. And science is knowing and knowing is measuring.

Ignorant people really must be educated; that is, they must be made to stop feeling something, and compelled to begin knowing or measuring everything. Then (then only) they won't threaten the very nonexistence of what all simple people call civilization.

Very luckily for you and me, the uncivilized sun mysteriously shines on "good" and "bad" alike. He is an artist.

Art is a mystery.

A mystery is something immeasurable.

In so far as every child and woman and man may be immeasurable, art is the mystery of every man and woman and child. In so far as a human being is an artist, skies and mountains and oceans and thunderbolts and butterflies are immeasurable; and art is every mystery of nature. Nothing measurable can be alive; nothing which is not alive can be art; nothing which cannot be art is ture: and everything untrue doesn't matter...

For those concerned few (and I do mean few) who are wondering who has kidnapped Danny and forced him to stay away from the blog for almost a week, worry no more. In a fit of madness, he volunteered to serve at two weeks of summer camp, one high school and one (gulp) junior high. He told me to post in his absence, but my bloglines account isn't working and I can't figure it out. Translation: I'm not Danny.

Emma and I went to visit him at West Central Christian Service Camp in LaMonte, MO today. On the way, I listened to my "new" Counting Crows CD (August and Everything After--my absolute favorite--its tape form was borrowed and never returned) which we downloaded from allofmp3.com. As far as we know, this site is completely legal, and oh so cheap. If I had owned this CD at the time of my CDs I can play without skipping a song post, it would have definitely made the list.

Last night Sara and I ate at Bo Lings, then took in a double feature, Shrek 2 and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

I thought Shrek 2 was pretty funny, better than the first one. We probably wouldn't have bothered with the 12:01 showing of Harry Potter if we weren't already planning on going out last night. But it was awesome. I've read the first four books and the third one is my favorite. This was a good adaptation, too. There were only a handful of details from the book that may have made the story a little easier to follow had they been left in. Rowling is such a good story teller. We thoroughly enjoyed this flick.

Today is our fourth anniversary, and in light of that fact, I decided to forgo the usual cynicism in favor of a salute to marriage. Obviously, there are things I could say about marriage that would fit the 'angry, rant-filled girl' bill, but, for today, you're getting this.

1. No more dating. This doesn't mean a cessation of any and all dates, of course husbands and wives are allowed the occasional night out. What I mean is the end of the nervous, nose-and-teeth-checking, who's going to pay, is a kiss the right/wrong thing at this juncture, will he/won't he [call, remember our date, show up in an acceptable car or choice of clothing] mental list.

2. I'm understood. Finally. Even though Danny considers me the 'queen of the non sequitur', he rarely asks the dreaded question: "What on earth are you talking about?" He doesn't care that I have to reference every song I hear with its:
   a. original artist
   b. significance in my life
   c. lead singer's side-project(s);
in fact, I'd like to think that he actually enjoys my banter. (At least he's good at pretending.)

3. A new, better me. As cliché as this sounds, being married is hard work. And even if I only succeed at listening, giving the benefit of the doubt and being nice 50% of the time, it's a great improvement. (Seriously, for those of you who remember what I was like before Danny, you know what I am talking about. Now please forget it.)

4. An increased interest in all things geek. I have always been a nerd at heart, but never at anything that was useful. Now I have mastered the fine art of TiVo, am somewhat proficient at blogging and am reading Free Culture by Lawrence Lessig (and actually enjoying it) all in the past few months. I have Danny to thank for that.

5. An end to low self-esteem (at least in the looks department). I know that Danny is interested in me as a person, and not just in how I look, but he always makes me feel like I am pretty anyway (except, of course when I am covered in child-vomit--then we revert to survival mode and communicate in a series of grunts). He never makes those 'fat-jokes' many husbands are want to make and he is, in general, a very supportive person.

Happy Anniversary, Danny. I love you and look forward to adding to this list many times over.

My favorite band, They Might Be Giants, will be playing the Blue Note in Columbia on July 13. Email me if you want to go, too. I'm excited because I've never seen a proper TMBG show. I did see them live during my freshman year of college, but they weren't the headliners. They played at the very end of the night, after the Urge and they didn't get a very long set. It was funny to watch people leaving the stage area after the Urge finished and the geeks just started coming out of the shadows and up to the front. Big Wreck also played at that concert, and I thought they were pretty cool.

1. Wal-mart was named for...
Today I was talking to Danny's mom, getting ready to go to this beloved store when, all of a sudden, it hit me. Sam Walton began Wal-Mart, hence the name. I'm so stupid.

2. 'Windshield factor'
Until my senior year of high school, every time I heard the weatherman speak of the 'wind chill factor' on the local news, I thought they were talking about the temperature of your car's windshield. Apparently, it has less to do with glass that you never touch in the winter and more to do with the wind as it blasts your face.

3. Premium Night
Sodexho, Truman's food service provider, used to serve us 'steak' and baked potatoes (and sometimes unidentifiable seafood) in the dorm cafeteria on what I thought was a random schedule. Hence, each time I would stumble upon a Premium Night menu, I was pleasantly surprised. The last week of my dorm life, I realized that Premium Night took place on the first Tuesday of every month.

4. 'Back burner'
As a communication major and English minor, I really should think about the origin of words. But, alas, I am just not curious. Honestly, why didn't I figure this one out earlier?

5. Hastings jingle
The purveyor of all things media used to run commercials touting it was "your entertainment superstore". Unfortunately, I was once singing along to a jingle and couldn't hide my lack of understanding: "Hastings-You really tamed this superstar." Before you mock, remember, it's not the only commercial that doesn't make sense.

Ïf you were really brave, you would tell me your own tales of stupidity.

Also, check out this guy's list of mispronounced words.