Mike Ferguson (Danny's younger brother, home from college in Florida for a few weeks). I asked him to guest-blog because a. I'm exhausted and b.he's really funny. (As you read his post, remember we live in Adrian, MO population 1800 and a fun factor of 0.) Send me your top 5s and you may be next.

Top five things cool for high schoolers that I wouldn't be caught dead doing

5. Going to see a movie in Harrisonville-- Unless you're dropping by
Movie Gallery because you just got done eating at the Branding Iron,
you have no business doing anything movie-related in Harrisonville.
High-schoolers, you'll be shocked when you see your first movie
theater that has stadium style seating, digital sound, and less white
trash.

4. "Roadtrips"-- Notice the quotation marks. This refers to
roadtrips that entail driving around Bates County. College students
know that real road trips mean that you go somewhere, normally several
states away. Real roadtrips usually take more than 45 minutes and
don't take place on a single weeknight after eating dinner with your
family. And you will definitely learn that roadtripping to Merwin
and Amsterdam is a complete waste of time, gas, and brain cells.

3. Any Camp that Takes Place on a College Campus-- I remember the
days of going to different camps, music camps, basketball camps, etc,
where for a week we lived in college dormitories. It was so cool. We
had our own squeaky bed and tiny closet, and a sink, right there in
the freakin room! But after spending a few semesters in said dorm
rooms, they lose their luster. This is mostly caused by a thin layer
of FUNK growing on everything, including the 4 foot pile of laundry
that you aren't going to wash. And don't get me started on roomates.
In other words, enjoy your room at home while it lasts.

2. Driving around town-- I used to do this all of the time. It was
SUPER cool before I got my license, and moderately cool after. But
now just seems silly. Whether it was cruising the strip (what's the
strip) or flipping the U or going around the horseshoe or cruising
Sonic in Butler, it all was cool for a while, but lately just seems
retarted. The retartedness of this activity goes off the scales when
you are in a 4 x 4 and listening to loud rap music. Ok, it doesn't
matter what you're driving, it always makes you stupider.

1. Talking about How Ready You are to Leave-- It's the same song you
get from every high schooler. "I'm so sick of high school and I can't
wait to leave." Most of the time it's true, and college is a lot more
fun than high school. But talking about how miserable you are, though
at the time seems cool, is only cool to you and your buddies.
Remember, it was cool to me when I did it, but looking back I wish I
would have shut up.

Thank you, Mike, for being brave enough to share your high school exploits and the lameness therein. Prepare for the comments to flow!