Float one over my house

Here's some good news for those of us in rural areas who can only choose between cheap, slow dial-up internet access and expensive, fast satellite broadband. Balloon goes up for rural broadband. The European Union is funding research for broadband internet that would be delievered by airships. It's expected to be 200 times faster than DSL, and very cost effective. I'm not sure if we'll ever see anything like this around here, but I know that there are no plans to have DSL or Cable internet in Adrian any time soon. I'm guessing that we'll see wireless broadband before DSL. It could be 3G, or airships, or who knows what.

CDs I can play without skipping a song

5. Soul Coughing Ruby Vroom
I had a marginal knowledge of this band (Super Bon Bon, Soft Serve, Soundtrack to Mary) when I met Danny, who owned three of their CDs. I love this album, their first, because it is raw and original--probably why none of the songs received radio play. Their lyrics, while often nonsensical, become the rhythm of the drums and bass so that they actually do tell a story (however neurotic it may be). I know this is getting long, but I have to say this: it is rumored that the band broke up after Ricky Martin's "Shake Your Bon Bon" was released (because of S.C's "Super Bon Bon".) Poor guys.

Favorite Ruby Vroom song: Janine
Lyric: Janine, I drink you up/ If you were the Baltic Sea and I were a cup, uh huh.

4. Caedmon's Call 40 Acres
I don't listen to many Christian artists, but I love Caedmon's Call because they play many different instruments and styles of music and their lyrics are deep and powerful (or fun and whimsical; pretty much any -icals you can think of are on this album).

Favorite 40 Acres song: 40 Acres
Lyric: Out here the Texas rain is the hardest I've ever seen/ It'll wash your house away, but it'll also make you clean

3. Ben Folds Five Self-Titled
You have probably noticed, being the astute readers that you are, that four of my top five listings are the artists' debut albums. I'm not sure why this is, but it probably has something to do with liking to be the "discoverer" of a band (as much as you can be when you live in the Midwest). At any rate, I love BFF's first album.

Favorite Self-Titled song: The Last Polka (I have no idea how I forgot this song on my best break-up songs entry. I apologize).
Lyric: He said, "Well I hate that it's come to this/ But baby I was doing fine. How do you think/ That I survived the other 25 before you?"

2. Weezer Self-Titled
It's blue. It's beautiful. And it's the sole reason I became a (mediocre) bass player.

Favorite Self-Titled song: Only In Dreams
Lyric: You can't avoid her/ She's in the air/ In between molecules of/ Oxygen and carbon dioxide

1. Pearl Jam Ten
Again, I have to say that I used to eat, sleep and breathe this band (I have recently discovered some more worthy pursuits).

Favorite Ten song: Oceans
Lyric: Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift/ Glide me towards you know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next time we touch

Honorable Mention
Eric Clapton eric clapton unplugged
Tori Amos Little Earthquakes
Rusted Root When I Woke

What (Not) to Wear

If there is one issue that incites passionate feelings from all ages and degrees of liberal- and conservative-ism, it the issue of personal modesty. Perhaps it is because, according to most parents and other adults, adolescent girls are dressing too provocatively. Perhaps it is because, according to said adolescent girls, there is no conceivable way to dress according to a standard that is incredibly outdated and prudish. Whether for these reasons, or for a host of others, the fact remains: the teenage wardrobe has become a breeding ground for harsh words, hurt feelings and confusion. Add in the problem of "causing others to stumble" and modesty, or a lack thereof, becomes a major forum for Christian debate.
What is the issue, exactly? Too much skin, or too little discretion? A world filled with impossible standards, or Christians who hold impossible expectations? And if modesty can't be defined in objective terms by unbiased parties, should the problem simply be avoided? Not according to Leida Pickett, a Certified Health Education Specialist who teaches teens about abstinence. Pickett admits that she once thought modest dress was an unimportant concern, but now believes it does have merit. She does not, however, agree with the methodology many choose to employ.
"I'm not comfortable with adults trying to make fashionable things taboo with guilt, punishment, criticism and shaming. I don't think that works," she said. Pickett even disagrees with using the word 'modest' as an exhortation to more pleasing behavior, describing it as, "antiquated, outdated, outmoded and unrealistic—every connotation is negative." Embodying the typical teenage mindset, she explained, "'Modest' kids don't get noticed, they don't have any fun, and they aren't fun to be around—your basic downer."
If this is the message girls are receiving from adults, no wonder it gets such a cool reception. In fact, to a perceptive Christian teen, this message seems downright hypocritical. "The Bible doesn't teach that the body is something evil or shameful that needs to be hidden. Modesty should grow out of a sense of gratitude for what God has given us and a sense of responsibility about how God wants us to use our bodies," explained Melissa McBurney in a 1996 Christianity Today 'Q and A' segment.
Demanding modesty from non-existent Biblical texts leads to little or no compliance and more rebellion. And even if the right reasons are cited, adults are often guilty of overlooking the core of the issue—teens are learning to make the difficult choices that go hand-in-hand with growing up. "[Girls are] frustrated by the clash between their values and by their very real, very valid need to be noticed and appreciated as females," Pickett explained.
Whether we would like to admit it or not, telling a teenage girl she can succeed in anything she wants with one breath, then telling her she must be modest with the next is contradictory. To these young women, a harsh stance on modesty today comes at a price—present success in their own world, which is often a primary concern. The adolescent life is based on acceptance, and a major blow in this area can have harsh consequences, as feelings of self-worth seem to develop substantially in this short time period, but often last a lifetime.
Should we put this issue aside because it carries the potential for damaging self-esteem? Perhaps a look inside the teenage mind will bring clarity. "I think that it's very important for Christians to dress conservatively," says Lisa Wainwright, high school sophomore and ACC member. "You're a reflection of God for others." Wainwright is far from the typical modesty advocate; she admits she likes clothes that are "really cute" and enjoys dressing in the latest fashions. But her concerns reach farther than her own closet: she realizes that wearing some types of clothing carries a lust-inducing risk in members of the opposite sex.
"I hate when guys look at girls because of what they're wearing: it's disrespectful. But then again, girls shouldn't wear clothes [that cause] this, Wainwright said.
On some level, Wainwright and her adult counterparts agree on a solution. But if resolving the modesty issue is as simple as "wear more clothes," then why is it currently unsettled? Danny Ferguson, ACC's Associate Minister who works primarily with youth, said he thinks the problem may have more to do with adolescent males. "Sure, [young men] are affected by the way girls dress, but I don't think we can get girls to dress in a way that won’t affect them at all," Ferguson said. He added, "I don't think a girl can force a boy to sin because of [what the Bible says in] I Corinthians 10:13 –there's always a way out."
Ferguson is not hard-hearted, he is simply realistic—the male mind is tuned to female frequencies, and no amount of clothing will stop a lustful thought if it is going to be had. While he admits that "girls can make it less difficult" by wearing less-revealing clothes, he knows that images of the female body can be everywhere, and not every female is concerned with covering her body.
Ferguson shares a message of hope for the young (and older) men who do try to think modest thoughts. "Most of the guys who are making an effort to [think pure thoughts] spend a lot of time feeling like they are terrible people. I think they need to understand that everyone has a problem area and you can do better."
Ferguson's own practical suggestions, "view women as people, not objects; look women in the face; walk the other way if necessary," demonstrate that he, himself, is not immune to immodesty's potential dangers. Modesty is an issue to which most women and men can relate, whether in their teenagers' lives or in their own. For those looking to make a real difference, both Pickett and Ferguson offer advice.
"Parents should have a standard of modesty for their kids; if they're too strict on it, their kids will rebel, but if they're reasonable and can explain why, it can help kids develop their own convictions," Ferguson said.
Pickett also believes in setting standards. "Adults should help kids come up with workable alternatives—work with them, not against them," Pickett encourages. "Don't fight the fashion—change it. If a daughter wants to wear fashionable V-neck shirts, but mom thinks they show too much cleavage, mom should buy her an equal number of higher-cut tank tops that she is required to wear with them."
Pickett said she believes that if adults will model modesty in their own lives, and if they will teach young men to not only accept, but to praise and to respect modesty in their female peers, the issue will be closer to a resolution. And if Christians of all ages are working toward purer lifestyles, real spiritual maturity cannot be far behind.

Weather

The National Weather Service has my county (Bates) under a flood warning and tornado watch.

My daughter, my geek

As Sara teaches our 2-year-old Emma concepts like saying please and thank you, reading and not biting, I'm introducing Emma to my world. This weekend we had this exchange:

Danny: Do you like Windows?
Emma: No.
D: Do you like Linux?
E: Yes!

And she really does. There's a game on my Linux computer that she loves to play. We have a Fisher-Price game that she plays, but every time I try to get her to use the mouse she just spins the scroll wheel. So yesterday when I saw an Elmo Kidzmouse at Walmart I stopped to look at it. It didn't have a scroll wheel and it was marked down to $10. (On the website they're asking $27 for it.) I didn't know if it would be any good, but I bought it anyway. When Sara and I opened it at home we were pleased to see that it was USB and optical(!) Ok, Sara probably didn't care about that, but I was excited.

This morning Emma woke me up and we played on the computer. Now instead of messing with the scroll wheel, she just keeps pushing the right mouse button, which can really mess up the flash games that we play. But I'm downloading a driver from the site that makes the right mouse button behave like the left.

Gadget wish poll

d width=500>uld get one new gadget, what would you choose?0>
iPod42 inch Plasma TV Fossil Wrist Net


DVD burnerOther (post it in a comment)
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Weekend at Danny's

Brendan was our guest this weekend. He came into town to make his presentation to the ACC missions committee and to hang out with us. We (wirelessly) networked our laptops and played a little Gunbound. Ok, we played a lot of Gunbound. I'm developing a condition I like to call Starcraft Eye (because my eyes used to hurt so bad after playing Starcraft in my dorm room for 4 hours straight). We watched the Oscars last night and were happy to see Return of the King bring home 11 awards, including best picture. Today Brendan helped me with a vexing computer problem. I won't bore you with the details, but I'll just say that even though a lot of things about Windows XP annoy me, its internet connection sharing works better than anything else I've tried to date.

Quiz bowl

This morning Sara and I served as judge/reader at the Adrian hosted 6th grade Quiz Bowl Tournament. I read science questions in one of the rooms and Sara was a judge in another, settling disputes about answers. One question that was debated a bit in both rooms was in the category of Astronomy. The answer was on the page as "Polaris," but contestants in both rooms answered "the North Star." I thought it sounded good, but the judges ruled it incorrect. What do you think? Congratulations to Adrian, the first place team. Archie came in second. It was a fun morning.

You have what??

After being subjected to Bob Dole promoting Viagra and countless bald men spraying on "natural-looking" hair-in-a-can, I decided it was time to write the "Top 5 personal problem products you should not advertise on tv".

5. Incontinence
What do a traffic cop, a broadcast news reporter and a business woman have in common? Faulty bladders. Honestly, who came up with the catchy jingle, "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now?"

4. Dandruff/dry scalp
While this has been a touchy subject for years, involving many unfortunate black-sweater/turtleneck incidents (good grief--start wearing another color already), I just saw the most disgusting dandruff commercial ever. A guy and a girl were sitting together, then the guy starts scratching his head and it* begins snowing. Finally, in a grand performance of "freedom from flakes", we find that using this shampoo allows the guy to run a broom handle up and down the back of his head, proving once and for all….I have no idea.

3. Bowel Disorders
Don't get me wrong. I love a good dose of toilet humor as much as the next gal. In fact, I have my own share of bowel disorders (just ask Danny). Fortunately, I have kept these two facts very far from each other. I find all the product options confusing and some are even life-threatening (according to paragraph 4 of this article).

2. Herpes
While I do believe it is unfortunate that some people have contracted herpes, I do not need to see them rock-climbing, road-tripping or dating in order to know that they can "still have normal lives". I don't think any of us thought that people with herpes were forced to live outside the camp and yell "unclean" when someone passes.

1. Erectile dysfunction/Male Enhancement
These commercials affect both sexes in the embarrassing department--yet no one wants to change the channel. Hmmm. In simultaneously one of the funniest and most disturbing ad campaigns, the male enhancement drug Enzyte is touted by a campy Bob, who apparently cannot live without bowling, golfing, or having an announcer who constantly uses over-the-top allusions to the male anatomy. If, however, you can't get enough of these commercials, read this guy's take.

*His head.
**I know, I conveniently left out the droves of female commercials. You have to admit, plugging a hole in a boat with a tampon is rather resourceful.

Funny stuff

Click to read the latest installment of Mister Language Person by Dave Barry.

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