After being subjected to Bob Dole promoting Viagra and countless bald men spraying on "natural-looking" hair-in-a-can, I decided it was time to write the "Top 5 personal problem products you should not advertise on tv".

5. Incontinence
What do a traffic cop, a broadcast news reporter and a business woman have in common? Faulty bladders. Honestly, who came up with the catchy jingle, "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now?"

4. Dandruff/dry scalp
While this has been a touchy subject for years, involving many unfortunate black-sweater/turtleneck incidents (good grief--start wearing another color already), I just saw the most disgusting dandruff commercial ever. A guy and a girl were sitting together, then the guy starts scratching his head and it* begins snowing. Finally, in a grand performance of "freedom from flakes", we find that using this shampoo allows the guy to run a broom handle up and down the back of his head, proving once and for all….I have no idea.

3. Bowel Disorders
Don't get me wrong. I love a good dose of toilet humor as much as the next gal. In fact, I have my own share of bowel disorders (just ask Danny). Fortunately, I have kept these two facts very far from each other. I find all the product options confusing and some are even life-threatening (according to paragraph 4 of this article).

2. Herpes
While I do believe it is unfortunate that some people have contracted herpes, I do not need to see them rock-climbing, road-tripping or dating in order to know that they can "still have normal lives". I don't think any of us thought that people with herpes were forced to live outside the camp and yell "unclean" when someone passes.

1. Erectile dysfunction/Male Enhancement
These commercials affect both sexes in the embarrassing department--yet no one wants to change the channel. Hmmm. In simultaneously one of the funniest and most disturbing ad campaigns, the male enhancement drug Enzyte is touted by a campy Bob, who apparently cannot live without bowling, golfing, or having an announcer who constantly uses over-the-top allusions to the male anatomy. If, however, you can't get enough of these commercials, read this guy's take.

*His head.
**I know, I conveniently left out the droves of female commercials. You have to admit, plugging a hole in a boat with a tampon is rather resourceful.