We're in Clever, MO, visiting Sara's family. Her brother Lucas is on leave from the Navy. He just returned from Iraq. He brought home two chunks of the big bronze statue of Saddam. Yes, the one you saw on the news. I was holding them and a few things occurred to me: 1) This is a little piece of history, 2) It's really heavy, no wonder it took them so long to knock the statue over and 3) How many people starved so they could make this statue? Anyway, it's been great having Lucas home again. No matter what you think about the war, you just have to be proud of guys like this.

I'm writing this post on Sara's parents' new computer. It has a beautiful 17'' LCD. I'm taking their old computer home so I can throw it into my Linux mess. I might frankenstien it or just try for a dual-boot system. If nothing else I'll wipe the hard drive and stick it into my current Linbox. (If you're interested, here are the specs of the old one: 366 Mhz Celeron processor, 32 MB RAM, 4 G hard drive and a 14” CRT monitor.)

Last night, I finally realized that this 2-hour-a-day Dawson's thing is getting ridiculous. So I decided to watch today's episodes and call it quits. (Don't congratulate me yet.) I looked up the episode guides for the rest of the season and realized that there are only 6 episodes left. That's only 3 days! What do you think I should do? Should I quit now and risk regretting not making it through 6 seasons, or should I watch the remaining episodes and risk being even more bored with the horrible plot lines than I already am?

Great news, the Tour de Midwest has added a stop: 1.5) We'll be staying one night in Macon, MO, with some other friends from Truman, Joe and Amanda. Joe was one of the first people I got to know at Truman, he led the small group where Sara and I met. He is also a rock star. We haven't stayed in touch very well, so it will be great to catch up.

If you thought I was the only one....

5. Top 5 Nestle and Ralston-Purina Combinations
This is an anomaly in an otherwise unfunny site. Two stock brokers trying to be funny: it won't take any insider tips for you to know how funny the rest of this site is. (Or isn't).
Don't check out The rest of the site

4. Ethan's Top 5 Stupidest Lines from The Rules
Okay, so this guy wrote a book I've never heard of about Urban Tribes (something I also know nothing about, considering I live in Adrian, MO). Some of his lists are on the dry side, but this one is hilarious.
Check out What this guy's book is all about, then tell me. I'm interested, but otherwise engaged (i.e. watching Dawson's Creek)

3. Top 5 Movie ***Holes
The premise for this list is great: What is the comedy equivalent for a drama's villain? The ***hole. As Badmouth explains, "a great comedy requires a great ***hole--not a true villain--but a person who is so instantly dislikable, that we don't mind when they are tormented the rest of the movie."
Don't check out The weird and somewhat disgusting thumbnails on the left side of the page

2. Top 5 Lists about the Top 5 lists in High Fidelity
Talk about meta-communication. (Little inside joke for all the COMM majors.) Anyway, this site urges you to "Send us your most grossly oversimplified ways of looking at the world, and we'll post them here." I wonder where I could find material like that.
Check out The list of the top 5 clips most likely to be seen on home video shows

1. Top 5 lists at Rockcritics.com
I've found another time-waster. Here, you can view lists and even submit your own. Hours of enjoyment had by all (or at least by all the cynical wannabe musicians with obscure taste in music and doubtful level of skill).
I especially enjoy the "Five Least Favourite Uses of Pop Music in Advertising" and "Five Records You're Proud to Own But (Secretly) Never Listen To"
Check out "Five Examples of Mangled Grammar or Factual Inaccuracies in Song Lyrics"
(Van Halen's Why Can't This Be Love? "Only time will tell if we can stand the test of time."

Here's a fun and potentially useful little program. Neotrace Express lets you put in a domain name or ip address, and it will map the path that data takes from your computer to that address. For instance, I put in brendoman.com and the map shows my data going from Kansas city to Dallas to Anaheim to Baltimore to LA. I've often wondered what path data takes from a server to my computer, and this program can show you. There is a paid version, but Neotrace Express is freeware.

I'm posting this from my computer running Mandrake Linux. All I had to do was plug the network cable from the router into the back of the computer and it was online. It's so easy that I'm almost disappointed. I remember hooking this very same computer to the ethernet in Centennial Hall at Truman State. It was my sophomore year and they had installed the network over the summer. I went to Staples and bought a $30 network card and a $15 cable. I plugged in all the cables and . . . nothing. I spent the next 5 hours installing protocals and tweaking settings. Now it's so easy that it takes the fun out of it. Next project: install Firefox on this computer.

I'm sitting at my kitchen table writing this post sans wires. Our SBC dsl is running and the wireless router is working fine. Next project: Getting my Linux computer online. Huzzah!

Sara and I are planning our vacation. We're planning on going to 1) Brendan's graduation in Moberly, MO. Then 2) we're heading up to Kirksville to see some friends we knew from Campus Christian Fellowship. Then we're heading to 3) Kearney, NE, to see Brandon and Keri. Finally we're stopping in 4) Omaha, NE to spend a couple of days going to the zoo and stuff. Here's the thing that's kind of funny. We're trying to decide on what hotel to stay at in Omaha. One of us is leaning toward a place with free wireless internet in every room and the other wants to stay in a hotel that looks like a castle from the outside. I won't say which of us is pulling for which, because I want you to be impartial. Help us out by posting a comment giving your opinion. It probably won't affect our decision, but it could be a fun discussion. Also, feel free to speculate about which of us wants which accomadations.

Okay, I know, many of you want to string me up after merely reading the title of this post. Let me explain: I'm a jerk. I'm cynical and somewhat of a music snob. In no way have I or would I ever pretend to be able to write a worship song, or any song for that matter, but I have been subjected to numerous worship sets which made me feel like laughing or puking. (Neither option is preferable when singing to the Big Guy.) Additionally, I am the director of our church's Worship Planning Team, so every week I consciously choose to let these and other songs which annoy me to be played, for the good of everyone else. So I am capable of group thinking. I just reserve the right to my opinion. And so do you. (So please tell me your own worst worship song).


5. I Will Not Forget You
I love Waterdeep. I think they are original and fun and somehow still serious and they usually move me in worship like nothing else. Here's the thing--I can't stand when songwriters want to use a word or phrase, then realize that using said phrase would mess up the rhythm of the song, but instead of rethinking the phrase, they add a word. In this case, the word is 'huge'. (As in, "a huge bell I ring"). I usually remain silent on this line or risk bursting into an inappropriate display of worship laughter.


4. Trading My Sorrows

Please don't kill me. I know that a lot of people love this song, particularly the actions (oh my goodness, don't get me started on action songs). This might be a little picky, but what am I if not detail-oriented? The bridge of this song includes the line "Though the sorrow may last for the night" and the music hits on each word in 'last for the night' in such a way that makes me think of hip-shaking. As in: Though the sorrow may last (stick hip out to right) for (to left) the (to right) night (to left). Get it? Anecdote--I was in a worship setting with my friend Marty and we were singing this song. We get to this part of the song, and, I kid you not, Marty does the hip thing. Completely his idea. I almost crapped my pants.


3.Draw Me Close Not a big fan of the emotional 'Jesus is sitting next to me' type songs. "I'd lay it all down again/ To hear you say that I'm your friend." Not so bad, I guess. Just wait. "You are my desire/ No one else will do/ Cause nothing else could take your place/ To feel the warmth of your embrace." What on earth does that mean? Grammatically speaking, we have a monster on our hands. To what does 'to feel the warmth of your embrace' refer? Peter, please back me up on this one.


2. Come, Now is the Time to Worship
This song is one of a few in a category I like to call "Ha, ha. You have to sing me first." For a Worship Planning Team director, this is maddening. Not to mention the weird chorus that doesn't seem to fit and the way we must all say 'come' at the end of the verse in an unnatural sing-whisper.


1. Your Love is Extravagant

I'm pulling out of the 'most recent' file on this one. My friend Hannah introduced me to this song, and when she sings it, it's great. She has a beautiful voice, and I can pretty much ignore whatever she is saying when she's singing. But when forced to sing as a participant, I found this song problematic. (Again, grammatically). "Spread wide in the arms of Christ/ Is the love that covers sin." No one told me we were moving back to Olde English on this one, and I spent an entire morning trying to figure out what I had just sung. I asked like 10 people what it meant, and understood even less when I was done. (I felt like a major idiot because it seemed like everyone else understood what we were saying. Maybe they just didn't care). Later, Danny explained that we were saying "The love that covers sin is spread wide in the arms of Christ." English majors.


Freebies:
Anything with the word 'river' in the title

This includes "Jesus Flow Like a River," "Let the River Flow," and "Dance in the River." My reasoning: no one can legitimately explain what the 'river' signifies. Seriously. Once, my friend Peter (whose list would be MUCH longer than mine) asked people why they liked a song with 'river' in the title. I believe he said, "What exactly is the river?" The answer? "Oh, you know, its Jesus and he's flowing through us. It's like the Spirit or something." Whatever.


Songs with lyrics that don't match the melody
Example: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever Here, we are singing a fun, happy verse, and then we move into the bridge with a depressing sound where we say, "Oh, I feel like dancing….." (Actually, this music makes me feel like crying.) "Like we're dancing now" (By the way, I have never seen anyone dance at this point. False advertising.)



**I Googled this topic and came up with nothing. So, from now on, when anyone wants to find the world's worst worship songs, they will see this list. So, if you want to be a world-famous jerk (and, really, who doesn't?), post your comments.

I could really use some help on this one. I want to read my news from an rss program, but I can't find one I like. My favorite so far was SharpReader, but it doesn't work on my computer anymore. Please, recommend some good programs.