Category: "miscellaneous"


I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me

Kiss Me, Son Of God


Once a year, my friend puts on a red suit
And hangs around with me and my wife
Now I can't help but feeling jealous
Each time she climbs on his knee

And she stands beneath the mistletoe, screaming
For him to stand beneath the mistletoe, screaming
Now I can't help but feeling jealous
Each time she climbs on his knee
Why must she climb on his knee?

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
She kissed him once and whispered in his ear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home

Santa's Beard


Don't call me at work again
No, no, the boss still hates me
I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
And there's a restaurant we should check out
Where the other nightmare people like to go
I mean nice people -- baby wait, I didn't mean to say nightmare
Lad looks at other gals
Gal thinks Jim Beam is handsomer than lad
He isn't bad

They'll Need A Crane


When I walk down the street, most guys look like elves
I don't mean to put them down but they do
It's hard to understand me from the language I use
There's no word in English for my style
What's a man like me supposed to do
With all this extra savoir-faire?

Extra Savoir-Faire


See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines

See The Constellation


It was the loveliest party that I've ever attended
If anything was broken I'm sure it could be mended

Your Racist Friend


When I was only a zygote
I still remember the time
When there was nothing to know or to think about
Except the sound of my mind
And the sound from outside



In 1844, the Democrats were split
The three nominees for the presidential candidate
Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist
James Buchanan, a moderate
Lewis Cass, a general and expansionist
From Nashville came a dark horse riding up
He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump

James K. Polk


Jodie Foster held two pair
Bach had three of a kind
Gandhi said, "With my full house,
I will blow your mind!"

Au Contraire


I will date the girl from Venus
Flowers die and so will I
Yes, I will kiss the girl from Venus for science

For Science

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