It seems I have been hiding out, as alluded to in the subject of this post. I guess that's what happens when at least half of your readers think you are hell-bound (literally). I'm still a little wary of posting, but if I'm not careful, I'll end up like an even more twisted and paranoid version of Dave Chappelle. (I'm already starting to sympathize with his "everyone was out to get my money/fame" story--is that a bad sign?)

Anyway, before I end up dancing with James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio, here are the Top 5 Random Thoughts and Happenings of Sara Ferguson. Enjoy.

1. Yesterday, I joined the ranks of regular people everywhere: I bought a cell phone. Danny and I were trying to hold out for a really cheap plan (translation: free), but it seems that is not happening. Instead of lowering rates, the companies keep adding features. While it would be cool for my phone to bake a pizza while dialing, I would not pay $10 extra dollars per month for this 'convenience'. But when Emma became sick last week (see number 2), I decided that her sitter should be able to find me quickly. Unfortunately, that means everyone else can, too. (Another reason I had not yet purchased a phone.) I can remember arriving back at Truman for my senior year and seeing all of these alien bodies (freshmen) glued to their phones. It was like something out of the Twilight Zone. By the time we began in youth ministry, every middle-schooler was carrying a phone and text-messaging their current love interest. Does the fact that I am still bothered by this make me old?

2. Emma has been sick. For those of you who don't know, Emma is our four-year-old daughter. She is normally an intelligent, active and funny little girl, but for five days in a row she was a permanent fixture on our couch. She didn't make nonsensical knock-knock jokes ("Who's there? Orange? Orange who? Orange knock-knock"); didn't smile; didn't speak; didn't eat, etc. It was a very quiet and sad time. But now she is back. How do I know, you may ask? Well, for one, she has reinstated the required 'copycat' mode at dinner; she is also chowing down on her preschool Valentine's Day party candy.

3. I am sick and tired of the war. And Bush. And his cronies. And I am so sick and tired of it all that I am not going to say anything else about it. See Danny's earlier post
for more. Or, for a less serious look, see this.

4. Having two part-time jobs is much like having one full-time job. Why it took five months to figure this out, I have no idea. I am currently working as a desktop publisher for our church, putting out weekly bulletins and newsletters and a monthly newsletter, complete with articles I write. To this I have added administrative and direct care duties at Willow Creek Group Homes, three homes for people with mental disabilities owned by my friend Jeanie. I work two days during the week writing reports about the consumers' (residents') goals so that they can continue to recieve their Medicaid funding. I also work overnight on Tuesdays at a home with three women who are high-functioning mentally disabled. After emailing and visiting the library (and sometimes doing yoga), we enjoy the priveleges of Tuesday night TV together, namely, American Idol. It is one of the highlights of my week to hear them laugh hysterically and say, "Why is she on TV? She can't even sing?". Why indeed?

5. Anne Lamott has got to be one of my favorite authors ever. She speaks about life and faith in terms I understand: sarcasm, doubt and inexplicable hope. I have enjoyed her collecions of essays for several years now (Traveling Mercies being my favorite), but have just recently begun her library of novels. Although I could never write with as much truth and attention to detail as her, she makes me want to.

Here's to staying above ground, for a few days at least.