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If the groundhog can do it, so can I
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It seems I have been hiding out, as alluded to in the subject of this post. I guess that's what happens when at least half of your readers think you are hell-bound (literally). I'm still a little wary of posting, but if I'm not careful, I'll end up like an even more twisted and paranoid version of Dave Chappelle. (I'm already starting to sympathize with his "everyone was out to get my money/fame" story--is that a bad sign?)
Anyway, before I end up dancing with James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio, here are the Top 5 Random Thoughts and Happenings of Sara Ferguson. Enjoy.
1. Yesterday, I joined the ranks of regular people everywhere: I bought a cell phone. Danny and I were trying to hold out for a really cheap plan (translation: free), but it seems that is not happening. Instead of lowering rates, the companies keep adding features. While it would be cool for my phone to bake a pizza while dialing, I would not pay $10 extra dollars per month for this 'convenience'. But when Emma became sick last week (see number 2), I decided that her sitter should be able to find me quickly. Unfortunately, that means everyone else can, too. (Another reason I had not yet purchased a phone.) I can remember arriving back at Truman for my senior year and seeing all of these alien bodies (freshmen) glued to their phones. It was like something out of the Twilight Zone. By the time we began in youth ministry, every middle-schooler was carrying a phone and text-messaging their current love interest. Does the fact that I am still bothered by this make me old?
2. Emma has been sick. For those of you who don't know, Emma is our four-year-old daughter. She is normally an intelligent, active and funny little girl, but for five days in a row she was a permanent fixture on our couch. She didn't make nonsensical knock-knock jokes ("Who's there? Orange? Orange who? Orange knock-knock"); didn't smile; didn't speak; didn't eat, etc. It was a very quiet and sad time. But now she is back. How do I know, you may ask? Well, for one, she has reinstated the required 'copycat' mode at dinner; she is also chowing down on her preschool Valentine's Day party candy.
3. I am sick and tired of the war. And Bush. And his cronies. And I am so sick and tired of it all that I am not going to say anything else about it. See Danny's earlier post
for more. Or, for a less serious look, see this.
4. Having two part-time jobs is much like having one full-time job. Why it took five months to figure this out, I have no idea. I am currently working as a desktop publisher for our church, putting out weekly bulletins and newsletters and a monthly newsletter, complete with articles I write. To this I have added administrative and direct care duties at Willow Creek Group Homes, three homes for people with mental disabilities owned by my friend Jeanie. I work two days during the week writing reports about the consumers' (residents') goals so that they can continue to recieve their Medicaid funding. I also work overnight on Tuesdays at a home with three women who are high-functioning mentally disabled. After emailing and visiting the library (and sometimes doing yoga), we enjoy the priveleges of Tuesday night TV together, namely, American Idol. It is one of the highlights of my week to hear them laugh hysterically and say, "Why is she on TV? She can't even sing?". Why indeed?
5. Anne Lamott has got to be one of my favorite authors ever. She speaks about life and faith in terms I understand: sarcasm, doubt and inexplicable hope. I have enjoyed her collecions of essays for several years now (Traveling Mercies being my favorite), but have just recently begun her library of novels. Although I could never write with as much truth and attention to detail as her, she makes me want to.
Here's to staying above ground, for a few days at least.
11 comments
I didn’t realize the comments from people about the worship songs thing bothered you so much. I guess that kind of criticism from anyone is hard to take, no matter how unwarranted.
I had a trying experience at school yesterday. Without going into details, I’ll just say that I realized most important teachers at this school believe in the complete antithesis of the educational principles I believe in. I actually represent what they believe is wrong with education. I wrote an angry rant on a radical teachers’ message board I belong to, and I received some valuable support. It occurred to me later that the people who I respect and whose opinions I value most in the world are the same ones telling me I’m doing a good job. And that’s encouraging.
So if it’s any comfort, Erika and I have always been impressed with your faith. I know Erika in particular appreciates all the time she’s spent with you in the past.
And if being against cell phones is lame, then I guess I’m just a big lame. Erika and I have always resisted getting one, and we have one now only because Erika’s mom gave us one (against our stated wishes). I have yet to take it with me anywhere.
I, too, love Anne Lamott.
Ridiculously refreshing was Traveling Mercies. How is Plan B?
Cell phones are lame. But, it seems that society views them as necessary. I woudln’t have one, but I have no land-line. So it’s as necessary to me as a phone. Plus, I’m totally going to text you all the time! TTYL L8R SK8R LMAO AFK
Anne Lamott is phenomenal. Plan B is good, but not as great as Traveling Mercies.
I have yet to get into any of her fiction, but I plan to at some point.
And Sara…you need to write more!! I enjoy it.
Sorry to hear about Emma. Guess that makes me a bad grandma for not checking on you often enough. I know how wrapped up you can get when your kids are sick. You know how Dad & I feel about cell phones but in emergency situations (like the time your car broke down in college) it is the only safe solution. Its good to have your commentary back. I miss them. LOL Tell Emma to watch the mail.
I hate when you write stuff. Your music sucks. I can’t believe you call yourself christian.
Aaaah, Jared. You seem to have emerged from your hole in the ground, too. Good to have you back.
go groundhogs! and go Sara!
go writing! go cell phone bashing! and go Sara!
hip hip hurray for healthy kids! yee gads for reading! holy smokes for two jobs!
(and go Sara!)
Thrilled to have your out of you groundhog stage and more thrilled that I got to hang out with you this weekend. Also in the words of Donna McCullough…if you need me to let the air out of any of those mean poster’s tires (or I guess in this case send horrible viruses to eat their hard drives) just let me know. Hurrah for the return of Sara!
I had no idea you also posted here. I love reading your writing, no matter the topic. You are so skilled. How are you ever going to manage being a novelist or journalist while you are already covering two jobs? Obviously, your writings are capable of inspiring passion in people (Ex: Top 5 Worst Worship Songs). Don’t cheat the world out of your incredible gift.
Okay–personally, I like having a cell phone. I like that Rob can call me from the grocery store to ask which kind of ice cream I’d prefer since only blue bunny is on sale and not breyers or Schnucks brand. And I like that I can call him when I’m ten minutes from home and ask him to start a pot of water boiling so I can have pasta ready and waiting when I walk in the door. And I especially like when I’m having a paranoid night and am convinced someone is following me home that I can have my phone on with a number dialed so all I have to do is press “call” if someone gets too close to me on my way from my car to my house.
But here’s the tricky part–I can’t stand it when someone else is talking on the phone at the grocery store–seriously, is Rocky Road vs. Bunny Tracks really going to make or break someone’s life? And when people are talking on the phone in cars and forget how to drive? Come on; can’t it wait till you get home?
But the best thing about cell phones is you can text your vote in to American Idol instead of sitting on the phone for two hours. Can I get an amen?!?
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