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Duchamp Theorizes

I was getting ready for bed the other night when I realized that my toilet seat was up. Not being a regular occurrence at the Ferguson household, I realized one of our many guests of the evening must have committed the offense. I then delved into my memory bank of past toilet seat mishaps and realized that I have shut the lid many times when people come to visit. It is then tha tI had this revelation, which I will share with you now. First, a little background:

When I visit a person's house, I inevitably must use the bathroom. When the deed is complete, I ALWAYS shut the lid. I think I have always assumed this is what one should do after using the restroom, particularly one that is not yours. (There is of course one exception: the toilet that has no lid. College students, I feel your pain.) The reasoning behind this somewhat OCD pattern, I guess, is that it makes the bathroom look nicer (is that even possible?--everyone knows what goes on in there) and that I have always done it that way.

Anyway, I suddenly realized that I had made a judgment error. I finally understood--other people have totally different expectations as bathroom guests. Perhaps they even have well-planned bathroom etiquette such as mine, except they have arrived at a completely different conclusion. Maybe they leave the lid up for ease of use; a courtesy applied to the next commode visitor. Or maybe they prefer the open look, the outdoorsy type. At any rate, I realized that for far too long I have been slighting these well-intentioned persons and taking away their ability to serve others in this capacity.

So, from this day forward, I vow to not say those nasty things in my head as I close the toilet seat after someone has used it. (I would say that I will forevermore leave it open, but we just got a cat who is interested in all sorts of water containers and I would hate for it to fall in.)

Oh, and by the way, if you have ever been a guest in my house, this was not meant as an insult; I really wanted to share my newfound knowledge with the world. Please continue to visit, and leave the seat as you wish. As I would imagine Oprah saying, if I help just one person end their cycle of toilet seat shutting, I have done my civic duty.

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danny [Visitor] • http://danny.brendoman.com02/01/05 @ 23:23

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