Once a year, my friend puts on a red suit And hangs around with me and my wife Now I can't help but feeling jealous Each time she climbs on his knee And she stands beneath the mistletoe, screaming For him to stand beneath the mistletoe, screaming… more »

Don't call me at work again No, no, the boss still hates me I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore And there's a restaurant we should check out Where the other nightmare people like to go I mean nice people -- baby wait, I didn't mean to say… more »

When I walk down the street, most guys look like elves I don't mean to put them down but they do It's hard to understand me from the language I use There's no word in English for my style What's a man like me supposed to do With all this extra… more »

See the constellation ride across the sky No cigar, no lady on his arm Just a guy made of dots and lines See The Constellation more »

It was the loveliest party that I've ever attended If anything was broken I'm sure it could be mended Your Racist Friend more »

When I was only a zygote I still remember the time When there was nothing to know or to think about Except the sound of my mind And the sound from outside Sensurround more »

In 1844, the Democrats were split The three nominees for the presidential candidate Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist James Buchanan, a moderate Lewis Cass, a general and expansionist From Nashville came a dark… more »

Jodie Foster held two pair Bach had three of a kind Gandhi said, "With my full house, I will blow your mind!" Au Contraire more »

I will date the girl from Venus Flowers die and so will I Yes, I will kiss the girl from Venus for science For Science more »

It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope And I wonder why this hasn't happened Why why why And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt And I hope that I get old before I die I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die more »