John said to John, I think we make a left at the light
There should be a big crinkle, assuming this map is right
John looked over and he said, hey, no it's not
It's a crumpled up wrapper from the fast food that we got

They Got Lost

Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank
Laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank

Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose
You guys must be into the Eurythmics
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if you're some kind of
Rhythm section want ad

Rhythm Section Want Ad

Well I ain't feelin' happy
About the state of things in my life
But I'm workin' to make it better
With a six of Miller High Life

Alienation's For The Rich

So I went to the President
And I asked old what's-his-name
Has he ever gotten writer's block
Or something like the same
He just started talking
Like he was on TV
"If there's just two songs in ya, boy
Whaddaya want from me?"

Number Three

Chinese people were fighting in the park
We tried to help them fight, no one appreciated that
Martin X was mad when they outlawed bell bottoms
Ten years later they were sharing the same cell

Purple Toupee

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me

Kiss Me, Son Of God

Once a year, my friend puts on a red suit
And hangs around with me and my wife
Now I can't help but feeling jealous
Each time she climbs on his knee

And she stands beneath the mistletoe, screaming
For him to stand beneath the mistletoe, screaming
Now I can't help but feeling jealous
Each time she climbs on his knee
Why must she climb on his knee?

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
She kissed him once and whispered in his ear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home

Santa's Beard

Don't call me at work again
No, no, the boss still hates me
I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
And there's a restaurant we should check out
Where the other nightmare people like to go
I mean nice people -- baby wait, I didn't mean to say nightmare
Lad looks at other gals
Gal thinks Jim Beam is handsomer than lad
He isn't bad

They'll Need A Crane

When I walk down the street, most guys look like elves
I don't mean to put them down but they do
It's hard to understand me from the language I use
There's no word in English for my style
What's a man like me supposed to do
With all this extra savoir-faire?

Extra Savoir-Faire

See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines

See The Constellation